i dont know who im talking to, or who ever reads my xanga anymore. i dont know who still finds me interesting, but i want to say some more stuff. and im not ashamed of ANY of it
so ive been getting close with this guy. he's a freshman and goes to morris catholic. sometime in the beginning of november he told me that he liked me and i kind of had a thing for him, so i told him. but i also told him that there was someone else that i was interested in at school, and i had liked him for a really really really long time (aka-andrew) and that some "stuff" had happened. (not specifing what "stuff" meant) so i told him that i couldnt be what he wanted me to be.
(side note- when he started talking about getting seroius, i freaked out. talking about getting serious with someone scared me! and i honestly thought that was what i wanted, a seirous relationship, but i guess i dont. maybe i am really just looking for a hook up, or something in the middle of there. like a fun little fling.)
but i dont see why he wants a serious relationship, he cant hold onto a girl for more than four weeks or so... but have you ever been attracted to someone (opposite gender) ONLY, 100%, no doubt in your mind attracted to someone because of their personality? that's what this is like. and i can talk to him forever and ever about anything and everything but i cant tell him i feel this way.
he has a girlfriend now, but i know he likes me more than he likes her. and if i were to tell him that i felt this way, he would ditch her and try to get with me, but there's the age factor. i think that's the only thing stopping me. you know that when you are young, a few years can make a HUGE difference, but when you get older, it doesnt matter as much.
so i dont know about anything right now, im just going to see where things go. and enjoy the ride.
gimme attention ;) | 
